So, I’m home from the summer job. I have been for a couple of weeks but I’ve successfully avoided my computer since then. I guess being home became official when the cats joined us earlier this week. Blogging makes it even more official?
A few minutes ago I posted a status update that I feel the need to expound on. So, I’m putting down my project to blog. This status update was:
I used to stress about not having a career as I turn 30 but as I sit in the sun refurbishing a shelf, stopping to read stressed status updates from the teachers on my friends list, I’m loving my life. I’m sorry you’re stressed, truly. It’ll all work out. You’re brilliant teachers but I’m glad I’m not one of you. ❤
I’m turning 30 this weekend. Whoa. That means I’m closing out my third decade on this planet and certain expectations are usually met by now. By my age, my Mom had two kids, was living with my Dad, and had a real job. She certainly wasn’t still acting like a kid herself. I mean, the most exciting thing that has happened in my life recently was the acquisition of my Batman Chucks. These expectations are a *very* East coast thing. I think. I feel like life out here on the West coast is so much more relaxed. That’s not to say that people don’t have expectations for their twenty-somethings out here. It’s just not as rigid, per say. Maybe it’s a Tahoe thing. I went to college. Hell, I even got my Master’s degree. And here I am with no desire to use those degrees or the resulting certifications/credentials. I don’t even like children in a classroom setting. At least I’ve discovered that I *like* children, just don’t give me thirty of them in a classroom.
Like I said, I used to stress about this. How many thousands of dollars am I in debt for these degrees? What am I going to do with my life without using these degrees? All of these people on FB that are my age, older, and now even some who are younger, all have careers started and I’m some kind of loser who doesn’t, what does that say about me? How come I have no ambition to start a career? What do I want to be when I grow up? How come I’m not grown up yet?
I could go on for hours with the questions about what my life was lacking. What I was lacking, all because I didn’t have a career. I had jobs but nothing that mounted up to a career. I thought about going back to school but what was the point if I didn’t know what I wanted to be. What direction would I take the classes in? It was all very difficult and depressing to deal with.
Then there was my Dad. He’s not really stressful to deal with. In fact, as Dads go he’s incredibly easy going. But he always wanted to know, why didn’t I just teach? Ew. He’s always been in a classroom setting. He’s amazing, he worked with the severely mentally/physically handicapped kids. Teaching them job skills and everyday he made them laugh and smile. My Dad has the personality for it. I think I would’ve been that ogre teacher that just wasn’t right for it and yelled too much. We’re really different. It makes it hard to explain why I don’t teach. When I tell him that kids have cooties, it just doesn’t go well. All that matters is that we all know that he’s amazing, because he is mindblowingly amazing. Which I think I’ve dedicated a whole post to before and if I haven’t I will.
So, I’ll turn 30 this weekend. My life will be what it is and maybe someday I’ll start a career. Or not. Really, who says I *need* a career. At least this winter I’ve vowed to get a job instead of avoiding getting one so I can ski all winter. That’s a step in the right direction, right? Most importantly, I’ve decided to stop really worrying about it. That’s the healthiest thing I can do. Someday I’ll have an epiphany and realize what I want to be when I grow up, or at least I hope I will.