So, I was doing better with all the icky stress. I was, really. Then the phone call came. My appointment to meet with the surgeon is scheduled. They called and scheduled yesterday. I keep having these crazy, “holy shit… it’s actually happening…..” moments where I’m just shocked that all of this is happening in *my* life. I keep feeling like I’m looking at my life as an outsider. None of this stress actually belongs to me. It all belongs to someone else. Then I realize that yup. Sometime in the next month or two, they will actually be cutting out part of my brain. I will actually be running the risk of loosing part of my memory or some other function. This surgery is everything that my doctors and I have been working and praying for but now that it is actually a reality, I am so freaked out. I know I need to just take a deep, deep breath and remember that I don’t actually know all the risks and benefits of going through with this. I haven’t met with the surgeon yet. Deepest breaths ever.
I’m typing this one handed because I have the amazing Mr. Winston snuggled into my chest. This is one of his favorite places to sleep. He does it to both of us. I’m pretty sure it’s a life or death kinda thing. If he can’t get into that cuddle, he *makes* us let him in… And he doesn’t just sit in our lap. He needs to be held up close to our faces and necks. He likes to reach up for face nuzzles. Talk about a stress reducer!
Other stress reducers? There’s Stephie being home for her “weekend” so we’ll be spending some more time together. There’s Cooper, who just when Winston vacates takes over. There’s sunshine so I’ll get some work done in the next couple of hours then camp out in the sunshine with my book.
How can you resist this cuddle?