A few days ago now, I received quite a surprise… A voicemail that just said “Emily…” it was three seconds of pure confusion for me. I didn’t recognize the phone number or the voice from one word. When I called back to discover it was an individual I hadn’t spoken to in nearly five years… Whoa… Out of nowhere. Talk about overwhelming? Surprising? Ridiculous? Absurd? Startling? A bit mind-blowing? Pick your descriptor, any of these would work.. I was completely blown away.
A quick back story? Five years ago my Mom died, ok, nearly five years ago. When my Mom died, my life essentially fell apart, we’re talking zombie mode here. When your life falls apart, you call your closest friends, right? Your support system. I told him and he blew me off. The call lasted just a few seconds and he never called me back. We went from talking nearly daily, at least every 2-3 days, to this. So, even more reason to be blown away.
Now, my life right now is really focused on love and forgiveness. Love is something I’ve always had an abundance of and I’ve always given more than generously. I’ll happily love anyone that needs it or proves to be remotely worth it. The part I struggle with is forgiveness. I don’t hold grudges, per se, I just don’t tend to forget very easily. So, when I was pushed away at a moment when I needed this friend the most, it was hard for me to forget. Maybe I’ll never forget but I’ve certainly forgiven. There was never any doubt that I would. I always knew that the moment we connected and spoke for a few moments I would forgive him. C’mon if you knew this guy, he’s easy to forgive.
I tend to write a lot about getting older and how it is affecting my viewpoints. This is because I am absolutely mystified over how I am turning 30 this year. Now you’re all probably thinking that it’s just a number, you’re only as old as you think/act, and therefore you’re *obviously* not 30… yet. However, chronologically I have graced this earth with my presence for nearly 3 decades and in that time, I should have acquired the necessary grace and poise to handle difficult situations. Grace and poise, you know, those pesky things that keep you from crying and yelling at someone you barely know anymore.
I got really lucky, I threw grace and poise out the window (that is if I ever actually acquired either) and made this person understand how badly he hurt me. By crying and yelling. Opps. Somehow, instead of being really defensive and getting mad, the typical human reaction, he took my words, felt bad, and comforted me. Apologized profusely even. We then spent an absurd amount of time catching up. Talking about everything, right down to what our hair is doing these days. I’m obviously an open person but it was refreshing to be THAT open. This is someone who has always known pretty much everything about me since I met him. A 5 year absence? Yeah, I felt that.
I’m very joyful that he reached out and wanted me back in his life. I am definitely very lucky for that. Old friendships are very important, so are the new, but these classics are the ones that know us best. They are the ones that know how to comfort us best and know just which words will hug us just the right way when they physically cannot.
(The best part? We’ve shared texts and phone calls since I started writing this, so, it looks like he’s really back. 🙂 I couldn’t be happier!)
((And my apologies for all the typos in my original posts… I have since proofread and made many corrections. Yikes, I’ll never post anything that was obviously not ready to be posted again. I promise!))